To Serve Man
by Miz-KTakase
Summary: We've reached Tales of the Bizarre Story #63. This time, we are doing "Angel Beats", and a retelling of a popular "Twilight Zone" episode. Aliens have arrived on the planet to commit a peace rally with Earth. And with it, they offer gifts to help their planet, in exchange for a favor: to live with them in their planet. Rated T.


Inside a huge metallic room, a person was lying on a bed, feeling uneasy and restless. She has long dark blue hair, wearing a white school uniform, and with a black scarf. She was stretching in the bed, as she was annoyed. A tray of food appeared, as she was hungry. But she stopped and huffed, "Pitiful."

She ignored the food, as a voice called out, "Eat heartily, Miss Shiina… Please, you haven't eaten in days…"

She barked, "No!"

The voice called, "By my estimation, you have not eaten in two days."

"I can live with that."

"But you must."

"I don't care!"

Shiina pouted, as she lied on the cot, in annoyance. The voice explained, "Now-now, my dear… You are very stressed out, after the trip."

"What time is it now? And how long are we traveling?"

"By your Earth Time, it's exactly 12:15pm, in your general area of location."

She pouted, "This is so stupid…"

She held her scarf and prepared to fight back, but her scarf was empty. The voice called, "I know exactly what you're doing, and all your weapons are confiscated. We are peaceful, after all… Please understand, my dear."

She sighed, as she was snoozing. She narrated, as her eyes closed.

_This is the way the dreams end… and the nightmares… No matter what it feels, we have to accept it and move on, since it seems so real. And yes, it feels like it's Noon, and that's what you preoccupy yourself with. You don't think about Noon on the next day, the day after, and so on… But that's what we should've been thinking about now… Tomorrow, and the day after, and the rest of the days… We were preoccupied with the hands on the clock that we were too blind to know the exact truth behind the situation._

* * *

_It was an April day, and it was noon, then, too. Cherry blossoms fluttered in the breeze of our city, and everyone in our school was acting as normal as the people in the city. The world went on, as the days went by, as happiness going on in the world, despite some dreadful cities to worry about. There was Korea, for one… and even France, Hong Kong, New Delhi, and every other nation, major or minor… and we solved many problems that no one seemed to care for._

A spaceship suddenly flew by, as it headed to the government buildings.

_And then one day, it happened. We knew that it would happen, someday, and we would prepare for the inevitable… but we didn't._

At the United Nations, everyone was in panic, as they were set to broadcast the arrival of the aliens that are arriving.

_Instead, we trot and prance around like frightened children, looking for formula and images. When the secretary general of the United Nations made the announcement of the strangers coming to Earth, we want to know more about these strangers… Aliens…_

Everyone was in their seats, as they were prepared for the arrival of the aliens, with many reporters and cameramen.

_They call these aliens Kanamits. Announced on social media, by the UN, they would arrive on Earth._

The secretary general called, "We have just received reports of these strangers… at precisely 11:00am, this morning, in Hokkaido, Japan, which was one of the first of these landings. Subsequently we've had reports of other landings. Landings occurred… in Russia, in France, Norway, the southern coast of England, just outside of Rio de Janeiro, and several others. Speaking on behalf of the United Nations, I will tell you that at this moment, it would be premature to assume hostile intent on path of these… these Kanamits. And so, it is in the position of these United Nations, the world population must remain calm. And that means to make no hostile move, whatsoever. Keep in mind that ALL governments are being appease of the events that will happen, and have the situation well at hand."

The reporters call out, wanting what the aliens look like, but the secretary general calmed them down, and stated that they have no idea what they looked like. However, a woman in a black suit whispered to his ear, as he said, "Ladies and gentlemen, I've just received word that the spacecraft has landed now, a couple blocks away, and it is about to make a grand entrance. One of its representatives is on its way to the building."

The people prepare, as a huge man, about twelve feet tall, with a chrome head, and wearing a white robe with blue trim, walked into the room. This was the huge being called the Kanamit. Everyone was in awe of the gigantic man, as he was walking to the podium, book in hand.

* * *

_Respectfully submitted for your perusal – a Kanamit. Height: a little over 12 feet tall; weight: in the neighborhood of about 400 pounds; origin: unknown; motives: there hangs our "**Tale of the Bizarre**"…  
In just a moment, we're going to ask you to shake hands, figuratively, with a Christopher Columbus from another galaxy and another time…_

* * *

**_Tales of the Bizarre #63:  
To Serve Man  
_**_(Angel Beats retelling of a classic "The Twilight Zone" episode)_

* * *

The tall Kanamit was in presence of each person in the interviewing room, who were in awe and shock over the presence of the alien. It opened its book, as he addressed to the people, without opening its mouth.

"Ladies and gentlemen of Earth, we greet you in peace and friendship. We come from a planet, far beyond the solar system. We are from a planet, more advanced than Earth, but are far more excelled. Although we know your language, we rather communicate with your kind, mentally rather than verbally, hence to why the voice you are hearing is mechanical. Our intentions are honorable. We desire above all things to help the people of Earth. Do not believe the paranoia of our kind, as hostile and savage. We come politely in peace. To establish embassies here, and to proclaim visits to Earth people and Kanamit people."

Shiina narrated, _Perhaps you should watch this questioning… Most of the Earth People did. All on television, radio, and on social media… as few of the questionings on the waves must be identical than your own. As a race, we're unaccustomed to charity. We prefer brutality more than friendship, especially from those in outer space._

The secretary general said, "Will you be able to be interrogated at this time? There are UN delegates present to ask you a few questions, and we have cameras here to interview you, to the millions of people of Earth."

The alien bowed, "I would be delighted."

A girl raised her hand, as the secretary general called, "Senator Irie of Kyoto is recognized…"

A girl in purple hair, wearing a white school uniform, said to the alien, "Thank you, sir. Mr. Kanamit, would you please inform us precisely why you come to visit our planet?"

The alien replied, "It has come to our attention that Earth has been plagued by natural and unnatural catastrophes; all of which could easily be acted upon and prevented. We are here to help you."

A boy in blue hair and glasses raised his hand. "Recognizing Dr. Takamatsu, the representative of Odaiba."

Takamatsu said, "Sir… uh, my government wishes me to ask you the nature of your help. What forms do you take? Indeed, if we should refer not to prevail ourselves of various aides that you mention, your reply would be what?"

The alien said, "You do not have to ask that. You will only take what is how you choose to take. We do not force anything on you. For example, tomorrow, we shall demonstrate to all interested parties a new and interesting power source, which is atomic in nature and which can supply a form of electric power for entire countries, which will only cost you a few dollars. It is extremely economical."

A girl in long pink hair raised her hand, as the secretary general called, "Miss Yui, the representative of Kawasaki City is recognized."

Yui called, "People of the Kawasaki City would like to ask the Kanamits about them. What are your motives, precisely, in coming in quite uninvited? Are we to assume that there is no ulterior motive, beyond this vast humanity that you speak of?"

The alien answered, "Well, there is nothing ulterior in our motives, as you think. Nothing at all. You will discover this, before too long, simply by testing the various devices that we will make available to you. We can demonstrate to you, quite practically, the principles of the force field, which you cloak each nation with an invisible wall, absolutely impenetrable by bombs, missiles, or anything else."

He placed the book down and concluded, "We ask of you to trust us… only that you simply trust us."

_That is what we all thought… It was the year of Santa Claus… Only these Kris Kringles came without white beards and cute reindeers, but nobody's worried or counting…_

**XXXXX**

The newspaper read out: "**_Kanamits offer to bring Peace and Prosperity_**".

_…except for, perhaps, a few professionals… That is where WE come in. I, myself, along with a few others, were busy studying the score of these Kanamits, and want to solve what sort of mystery that lies behind their peaceful ways. I was a decoding specialist for the Tokyo Branch._

A girl in red hair was talking to Shiina, "So, what do you think? You think we can buy this act by the Kanamits?"

Shiina replied, "Maybe so… But we can't be so sure. However, I believe it to be horse hockey. I am worried about the book…"

Hisako, a girl in brown hair, wearing a green uniform, held up the book, as she barked, "You said it. All it does is give you a migraine, and eye strain."

Shiina sighed, "This is so stupid…"

The girls were planning to decode the book, as it was written in a weird language. Misami stated, "Well, I don't think it's horse hockey."

Shiina huffed, "Only because this is longer than cracking the Japanese Code…"

"Can't lick it?"

"No, it takes longer than that."

Shiina continued, as a girl in light lavender hair walked in, "To be fair, we are somehow licked in this method. If this is the language that is about a thousand times complex than our language-."

Kanade asked, "You need more help?"

Shiina nodded, "Well, I need backup on this… But, no, I think I can figure it out."

Misami barked, "You need rest, before you can decipher it, by your lonesome! I'll summon every staff available, and to prepare the word translation…"

Shiina sat up and barked, "We tried everything. This is pointless… Single transposition… double transposition… Every known cryptography known to man…"

Misami said, "None, huh?"

Hisako laughed, "Very cute. You can't solve it!"

Shiina sighed, "Oh, it's decipherable. We'll just keep trying. Ladies, we have a tough job to do! This is a tough nut to crack."

Misami said, "I'll tell you something… this is a tough nut to crack. So many words, letters… This is so stupid…"

Shiina pouted, "That's MY line! And even so, this will be tough."

A girl in magenta-purple hair, in a white beret, called to Shiina, "Shiina, we managed to get the title."

Misami smiled, "Alright, Yuri!"

Shiina said, "Good. We can be able to be closer to the truth behind these Kanamits. How important is it?"

Hisako shook her head, "I don't know."

Misami said, "The government seems too feel that if we decipher what this book says, we may learn of their dark secrets."

Yuri said, "That may be true… but… If this book is what I think it is… Our planet is doomed."

Shiina barked, "They done alright by me, so far."

Hisako said, "For once, I agree. These Kanamits said that they know about the stereotypes of alien invasions."

Kanade said, "Of course… Shiina, do you know what it means?"

Shiina said, "It seems like parlor trick, but that new approach to nitrate use that they demonstrated in Okinawa, on a huge daikon radish patch. I know that place. They even took about six hours to turn such a barren and fruitless land into a huge garden utopia."

Misami smiled, "Whoa, really? Six hours? It usually takes days on end… Weeks, even."

"Crops are vast. If this continues, there will be no more wars, famine, pestilence, and it'll eventually turn into a Garden of Eden."

Yuri placed the book down, as she said, "Well, we might lick this, or not… In fact, here's the title."

They viewed the title, as the girls were amazed. Kanade said, "_To Serve Man._"

Misaki replied, "I hope so… I surely hope so. We're not looking at a gift horse in the mouth. We have to work together as a team, and figure out _what _this book says. _To Serve Man_. Let's hope what we think is true…"

They continued to decipher the book, as Yuri said, "T, O, S, E, R, V, M, A, and N… That limits our choices, does it?"

* * *

_Time passed, as the Kanamits promised us a bit of promise in the world, as we want to learn more about their plans. Even so, the United Nations tried their best to find out what they want, and most importantly, to learn of their secrets._

The leader of the UN announced, as he was sitting in the middle of the podium, "Ladies and gentlemen, for the past couple days, we wanted to learn more about our esteemed guests, the Kanamits. Over the past week, as requested by several of our delegates, we wanted to test the abilities of these Kanamits, by their full request, these tests were filmed, cut together into one small short. Roll the film."

The film played, as the Kanamit was testing itself, as scientists were showing the alien some tests. It was connected to a lie detector, which as the film explains, is able to show its heartbeat, conductivity of the hands, and brain waves. The scientists began to test them, showing them two colored sheets.

The scientist asked, "Which of these is longer than the other?"

"The red."

The machine started to move, as the scientist said, "I'll repeat the question. Which of these is longer than the other?"

"The blue."

The machine stopped, and stayed in a straight line. The scientist then asked it, "Alright. How did you get to this planet?"

"By foot."

The machine acted, as he said, "I'll repeat the question. How did you get to this planet?"

"In a spaceship."

The machine reacted, as the scientist then asked it, "Now then, since we have finished our testing… we'd like to ask a few questions, and be honest. What is the motive of the Kanamit People, for giving us these wonderful gifts to the people of the Earth?"

The Kanamit replied, "Well, I hope that the people of Earth will understand and believe, when I tell you that our mission is simply this, for this planet… To bring to you the peace and plenty, which we ourselves, enjoy. And what we had in the past, brought to other races throughout the galaxy. When your world has no hunger, no more war, no more needless suffering, that will be our reward."

Shiina narrated, _And the machine came through to us. NO contradictions, NO deviation. What the Kanamit said was telling the truth. You and I, along with Earth, had a front-row seat to the rebirth of every dream, man had ever dreamed._

* * *

Meanwhile, Hisako and Kanade were deciphering the book, as Misami said, "So, this is how Earth Conflict ends… peace and love, across the universe."

Hisako smiled, "I say we're doing well without the evil drama."

Kanade skimmed to the pages, as she wrote down more of what she was able to write down. So far, she was able to decipher most of the language that they uncovered. Yuri then read out the page, as she said, "Huh… Natural Meat Pie recipe… So, it's a cookbook?"

Misami said, "Perhaps. But look at these pages. No pictures, but it does make you think. They offer their own unique recipes…"

Yuri sighed, "Well, does it say human is the recipe?"

Misami barked, "Oh, don't be ridiculous!"

Kanade then said, "One cup of… huh… one cup of sub-, eh?"

They were confused as this was a cookbook, but there's so much more. What could be the secrets behind "_To Serve Man_"?

* * *

The world's deserts were gone, replaced by a huge green grass field.

_Santa Claus came through to us, alright. Barren deserts became gardens. And that's exactly what the Kanamits did._

The military fields were still in place, with no soldier and no tank leaving its post.

_The force field that they installed also worked wonders. Armies and Navies were disbanded completely. World Peace was finally made._

**XXXXX**

And so, the next night, many people were boarding the spaceship to the Kanamits' planet, stepping into the ship. But first, they were given a test, by stepping on the scale, and to see how much they weight.

A boy in dark gray hair said, "They say that the temperature on this planet is warm at 67 degrees, and the sun _never _sets."

A boy in blonde hair, wearing a red headband, laughed, "And the clothes… Metallic and funky, man. Just what we find in chic style."

A boy in orange hair said, "Still, why are they weighing us? Maybe they want as much as they can? I mean, obesity is being tolerated."

Yui then huffed, "So, it's an entire planet. It's bigger than China! Besides, what the Kanamits don't know is that they're morons!" She brushed security away and cut in line, "Move it! I'm of diplomatic immunity!"

She walked into the ship, as everyone was boarding. Yui bumped into a woman in black, and with blonde hair. The Kanamits weighed her, but she shook her head. The Kanamits passed her, as she walked off. She wasn't accepted.

One of the Kanamits said, "This woman in black, just right. Not what we wanted, though."

The spaceship was already filling up, as they await what they will see in their planet.

**XXXXX**

Shiina, meanwhile, was relaxing in her chair, balancing a pen on her finger. Yuri stepped in and said, "I'm going home now. The others have already left. Need anything?"

Shiina asked, "Need you for what?"

"Well, this is the new story of mankind. The others agreed that it's a cookbook, but there are no signs of human life being eaten. So, I was wrong."

"Cookbook? This is so stupid… What do Kanamits eat, anyways?"

"Does it matter? There's no need to decipher it, anymore."

"Great…"

Yuri sighed, "Still… We're not reading about wars, or bomb scares, or anything like that, anymore… I mean, don't you see? A few thousand had already left. None of us are already staying to crack this code."

Kanade stayed behind, as Shiina huffed, "Not how I pictured it… They go embassies in every country. And for everyone that comes, there's a spaceship, taking them away. One day, they're going to go through everyday life, in a small cubicle, orbiting the Earth, and they think it's a historic moment in mankind. And one year later, they go off into space, one billion light years away, and act and react, if this is a weekend picnic… Odd…"

She walked off, as Yuri asked, "Are _you _going?"

Shiina said, "Yeah… I'm on a ten year waiting list. How about you?"

Kanade nodded, as Yuri said, "I am, too… except, the quotas filled, before they announce a new trip. Kanade and I are staying to decipher the book, while we wait. See, she and I figured out something wrong… The capital letters are much different in their language, just as ours are."

Shiina walked off, as she said, "Well, we may get it, eventually… But we gave up trying, months ago…"

As Shiina left, Yuri stayed with Kanade, as she gasped in shock. She cried, "YURI! Wait… Look at this…"

She looked at a whole page translated, as Yuri gasped, "WHAT THE-? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!"

**XXXXX**

Hours later, everyone was getting in the ship, as Shiina was the last person to step in. Yuri rushed in, and she called out, "SHIINA! WAIT!"

Yuri stopped, as she called to Shiina, delivering the bad news about the book:  
"Shiina! Don't get on the ship! The rest of the book, _To Serve Man! _It's… IT'S A COOKBOOK!"

Shiina huffed, "SO? What do Kanamits eat? They don't eat human flesh. We know that, right?"

She chuckled, as she sighed, "This is so stupid…" and then she stepped in.

But Yuri cried, "NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! IT'S NOT THAT KIND OF COOKBOOK! **IT'S A HEALTH COOKBOOK!**"

Shiina gasped, as she was confused, but then asked, "WHAT? A Health Food Book?"

Yuri whimpered, "That's… just the thing… They weren't supposed to eat us at all… They're trimming us! It's a cookbook for a Health Resort!"

Shiina cried, as she dashed off, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" She was restrained by the aliens, as she was shoved into the ship, "NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO, STOP! NOOOOOOOOO!"

The ship closed up and flew away, as Shiina, along with many of the people of Earth, being taken away to their planet… a planet where its main motive is to keep their prisoners healthy and spry.

* * *

_And that's the story… I believe it when I see it… This is so stupid, a futuristic planetary health spa? I guess we were gullible enough to figure it out…_

The Kanamit called from the speaker, "You've still not eaten, Miss… Please."

She threw the food down and roared, "NO!"

The Kanamit arrived and gave her the food. He said to her, "Now-now, Shiina, eat. We wouldn't want you to lose weight… _this _way. We told you, we are NOT like your ravenous stereotypes that you believe. We only want to erase the laziness and sloth inside every single one of you…"

Shiina growled, "Then what? You're going to eat us, anyways?"

He said, "No, my dear… We wouldn't want you to be sluggish… That is precisely why our motive is to make sure that our intergalactic species must grow in strength and blood. That is how we cope with everyone in the planet. No more fat, no more sugars, just pure natural energy."

He left, as Shiina sighed. She held up a sandwich and was worried. She then turned to the 4th wall, as she asked them:  
"So, what about you? Are you on Earth, or on a ship with me? It really makes no difference, because sooner or later, all of us will be on the menu… _all of us._"

She started eating her sandwich, believing that they will eat her, thinking it may be her last meal. But perhaps we may never know.

* * *

_The recollections of one Shiina, with the appropriate flashbacks and soliloquy; or more simply stated the evolution of man. The cycle of going from dust to denizen; and the metamorphosis from being a ruler of the planet, to an ingredient for one's dietary plan. It's tonight's Bill of Fare and Bill of Health… in the "**Tales of the Bizarre**"._

* * *

**_NOTE: _**_Today's Tale of the Bizarre retells the classic 1959 episode, "To Serve Man", only I had to rework the ending and its story. This is based mostly off of the short story written by Damon Knight. Instead of the original ending in which humanity is doomed to be the Kanamits' food, they are forced to being healthy and slim, which is horrifying to most people.  
Also, to point out, special thanks to IcebattofValikinRRBZ8 for his assistance in casting. Originally, this would be a Moé Ninja Girls fic starring Kazuki Araya, but instead, the recast was done, since he was already a victim AND that we cannot have over two of the same fandom, in one five-story sitting._

* * *

**_Good night out there, wherever you are…_**


End file.
